Ok so being single is amazing and all. I love being around different women but here's the problem: You can't have good fights. If you get into a fight with a woman you are dating for 2 weeks, she's just going to leave and say fuck you. The sex was good but I didn't break her. I treat it as a computer program that I couldn't hack inside and destroy her. On the other hand, fights with a woman you had a relationship for 2 years is so much more fun. First, they don't expect it. Sure you had a few fights here and there but she's always going to believe on the relationship as if it's a love story from a Disney movie that will eventually have a happy ending. Oh there's an ending alright, just not the one she think is coming. So, I walk in and find something wrong in something she did for me. It could be a cake or booked a Broadway show. I would look at her long enough for her to open up for surprise. And I ask her, "Are you serious? Do you know I am allergic to flour now? Also, my great great great grandfather was shot in the back at a Broadway show." Now it all starts. You lay the ground and just start fighting. Then just tell her with calm and ease so it sticks harder like sliding butter on a frying pan: I think we need a break. Boom it's over! See how fun that could be? The crying fireworks start pouring and all I can think of is, "Yes! I am a man because I've seen my parents fight all the time and this is how it's suppose to be done, damn it. (sarcasm)
But be aware of the relationship where she sarcastically agrees with you. She'll say, "you are so right about everything. Gosh, you are an amazing man. I am so wrong and Walter you are so right. I am driving a car with the tank full of wrong gasoline on a road of wrongness. Then she breaks it off. Now she just turned the tables and the guy is now emotionally hurting. What do you do now? The man has become the woman and it sucks. Ok, so none of this has ever happen but I like to think that relationships should break up this way. It's so much more funnier than the cheesy ones you see on TV or the stories my friends give me. This is my way of laughing at my break-up.
